who they be

It’s the man, the myth, the overwhelmed... Meet The Moon Man!

The first-ever resident of the Random Universe, The Moon Man is the glue that holds all the madness together.

Fueled by caffeine and a semi-positive attitude, he battles the never-ending nightmare that is responsibility one emotional breakdown at a time... and somehow keeps moving forward.

Lock up your valuables, folks, it’s The Twins!

Wanted all over the world, from Paris, France, to Paris, Texas, there’s no stopping these two when it comes to the art of thievery.

From the shiniest pieces of jewelry to your left sock, everything is up for grabs for these two.

First you’re here and then you’re gon-gon-gondola! It’s Vino!

Nobody beats Vino in the game of transportation. If you’re in a hurry, he’ll always get you where you need to be... You just might be a little buzzed. 

So sit back, sip some wine and if the cops ask, he’s swerving because of the currents.

Whistle! He’s mad with power, and he’s not afraid to show it. Meet The Ref!

It’s the Wild West out there, and someone’s gotta keep the peace. Strict, bald, and dead-eyed, nothing gets past this guy.

So you better behave, or you’ll get a stern talking-to... and nobody wants that.

He loves the waves, the rays, and flexin’ for the babes. Meet Lenny the Lifeguard!

His only rule? “Sun’s out, guns out.” Lenny might be the king of the beach, but saving swimmers isn’t exactly his strong suit.

You’re probably better off staying on the sand, because when Lenny’s on duty, you’d better get your booty… out of the water.

 It’s the clown who’s always down! Meet Earnest the Clown!

Heeeere’s Earnest! With a painted-on smile and low self-esteem, this clown likes to get down!

He’s juggling life, balloons, and the need to fit in... and usually, he’s dropping the ball on all three.

Intrigued by his awkwardness and with a slight fear for their lives, the crowd always comes back for more.

Ain’t no suit like a scuba suit to turn some heads. It’s Dan the Scuba Man!

Dan dreamed of discovering shipwrecks, sea monsters, and forgotten treasures. Then he discovered shrimp lo mein.

Nowadays, every dive is just another shift collecting shrimp for his favorite Chinese restaurant. 

So sharpen your harpoons and your chopsticks... dinner’s waiting.

People call him dark and twisted, but really, he’s just misunderstood. It’s Poe!

A little creepy and just slightly off-putting, Poe just wants to share his feelings the only way he knows how: through slam poetry and the spoken word.

So grab a front-row seat and snap along to one of his latest hits: “It’s Not Just a Phase, Dad!”

He’s the Cap’n who makes it happen, it’s Cap’n Ahem!

With one good eye on the helm, the mad Cap hunts down his nemesis: that ol white whale...alcoholism.

Navigating the seas with an iron hook and blurry vision he won’t stop until he earns his big catch! His two-month sobriety chip.

He’s the pilot that just can’t fly it! Meet Emilio Earhart!

Born to fly, Emilio made a vow to become the best damn pilot there ever was! There’s just one problem... his massive fear of heights.

Inspired by another legendary pilot, Emilio dreamed of conquering the skies but never got around to earning his international pilot’s license.

Now he sticks to flying domestic. Keeping one eye on the horizon and the other on the emergency exits. Just don’t ask him to look down.

He may not be super, but he’s definitely super stoned. Meet Manny, Plumber on Call!

Video games make crappy jobs look entertaining, but there’s nothing entertaining about unclogging a toilet at 3 AM.

Sometimes a little psychedelic escape helps you out of messy situations. Just don’t overdo it, next thing you know, you’re fighting mutant “turd”les in the sewer.

He’s keen on being seen. It’s Walton Foundman!

It was hard living in the shadows of someone who didn’t want to be found.

While the world asked, “Where’s Waldo?” no one ever asked, “What about Walton?”

Cursed by invisibility, he only wants one thing: to be seen by the world!

He’s the bear that doesn’t play fair, it's The Pan-DUH!

It’s hard out here for a grizzly! Do you know what the similarities between surviving hunting season and prepping for hibernation are? They’re a lot of work!

So Pan came up with a plan. To dress up as something cute, cuddly, and endangered.

Why collect the food when people can bring the food to you. So if you know what’s good for you, just put the bamboo in the bag.

He’s stacked like a brick, he’s nice and thick, and he don’t take no shit, It’s Ryan!

An extreme introvert, Ryan hates crowds but if push comes to shove, he’ll be around them if he really has too, but he won’t like it and his face will let you know it.

It’s the chef with a little heft—it’s Mr. Oink!

A cannibalistic chef on the hunt for the finest ingredients in all the land.

No one is safe... not even us.

If you smell something sizzling, you’d better run. They say the secret ingredient is love... but Mr. Oink just has a different recipe in mind.

Dinner is coming and it could be you.

It’s the bird with the word, and sometimes, he’ll flip you the bird. Meet Cornelius!

With a beak for breaking news and a thirst for the truth, he’s always chasing the next big scoop. 

Sharp-tongued, sharp-eyed, and never afraid to ruffle feathers, Cornelius tells it like it is, whether you like it or not.

It’s the rat in need of cheese. It’s Ricky!

He may be a rat, but he ain’t no snitch! Ricky ain’t sayin’ nothin’!... Unless you pay his price.

In that case, you’re screwed because, at the end of the day, it’s all about that cheddar!

His blood is anything but noble. It’s His Majesty, the King of Trash!

Behold! The mammal that built his empire from literal scraps and the leftover bones of his enemies!

Leader of the black-bagged nation, he’s become the lord of nothing... but that’s still the lord of something.

He might not be the Lord of the Flies, but he is the King of the Bees! Meet Eugene! 

Eugene is the name, and making honey was the game–that is until he felt the mandate to pollinate!

Now buzzing for adventure, this honey bee is ready to grab life by the stinger!

So wake up and smell the flowers, just know, Eugene might have rubbed some stuff on them first.